Hillah, Iraq.

Please raise your right hands, and repeat after me:

I, state your name, do hereby swear (or affirm) that I will not stay up till all hours drinking Red Bulls and nonalcoholic vodkas with Green Berets in front of a roaring bonfire.

Now with that unsavory business taken care of….

Special Forces bonfires are not at all like Boy Scout bonfires. Boy Scout bonfires involve collecting lots of tender, small wood, medium wood, and large logs, and a single match. Special Forces bonfires are made by piling up a bunch of wood , and throwing a thermite grenade on it. We really didn’t need a bonfire, as it is 95 degrees at night. But bonfires really set the mood for that sort of business. And we got all the benefits of a sweat lodge without actually having to build one.

The Marines in Diwaniyah are under the impression that we are visiting them for the 4th of July, an impression we are not going to correct until after the fact. They may have a radio station, but we have a pool and a lot of mortar rounds. We are having some trouble arranging food for the cookout. The Air Force officer who oversees the KBR activities says that there is a seven day lead time for special chow, a time requirement that we find thoroughly intolerable. We are not sure whether to get what we want out of the chow hall, or just buy local food.