Hillah, Iraq.

From the people that brought you the Champ Charlie Country Club and Pool, and the Yazoo 25 Humvee with Thumpin’ Sound System and Heavy Weapons, your Anglico Marines give you the First Hillah Riverine Patrol Group.

We found a boat. I don’t mean ‘found’ as in the way your Uncle Carmine from Queens ‘found’ that VCR that fell off the back of the truck. We were looking in the surplus area of the Polish motor pool, which has become a dumping ground of sorts. Far in the back was this boat on a trailer. The Poles said we could take it, which of course we did as we have plans for it. The boat itself is in good condition. The motor could use a little work, and we will need to rewire the throttle controls. But otherwise, it is looking serviceable. There are differing opinions on how the boat should be armed, but that will probably take some committee work.

We actually plan on using it for combat operations as we can carry out assaults from the river to reinforce ground borne assaults. That being said, the Warrant Officer wants to find some water skis so we can go water skiing on the Euphrates River. The photo of me water skiing would be super, super cool, but I am not sure I am willing to risk the hepatitis, tape worms, mercury poisoning, and who knows what else for the photo.